EPIC Lent: Why Do We Do What We Do?

I mentioned during our Young Church time last week that, in our home, we always precede a family meal by taking hands and saying a prayer. Sometimes we might freestyle it, but usually we say a blessing that we’ve learned to say together through the years. We even follow this practice when we have guests. It’s what we do. 

I’m a bit of a dork, but I like to think I’m not a fool. I have no doubt that whenever I’m closing my eyes during this prayer there are other eyes that are either peeked open or fully open. And, at different points along everyone’s faith journeys, I’m sure there have been times when those open eyes were rolling at how ridiculous this family ritual is. Sometimes the prayer has been spoken, other times muttered, other times mute. And, there are many occasions when I catch myself thinking about something other than what I’m saying in that moment, even though it often falls to me to kick the prayer off. We’re not always fully engaged in this family ritual. 

Nevertheless, we persist. 

Why? Why do we continue to do something knowing full well that not everybody is fully on board? Isn’t that the epitome of an “empty, meaningless ritual”? 

Taken in isolation, yes, I suppose the ritual is empty and meaningless for the person who is rolling their eyes or muttering reluctantly. But, the nature of rituals is that they are not isolated incidents. They are rituals, repeated acts the meaning of which is as embedded in their repetition as it is in the words or gestures themselves. 

We do this ritual, even when it can be meaningless and empty on occasion, because we strive to be thankful people. We strive to acknowledge grace, to be receptive, and to appreciate the invisible giftedness of community. If we take a moment every time we sit together for dinner and acknowledge how blessed we are to have this gift of food, perhaps we would never be the kind of folks who pretend to be self-made independent, atomistic people. Perhaps we will always see ourselves as part of a larger, abundant world. And, when that thankfulness is directed toward God, perhaps we will ever see ourselves connected to a world that is much larger than our immediate surroundings. Peeking or no peeking, we need that ritual to become who we are.

Throughout this EPIC Lenten season, we’re paying attention to the Experience, Practice, and Identity Circle that shapes us. Sometimes it is made up of what feel like “empty, meaningless rituals” – worship each week, daily prayer, giving generously of time, treasure, and talent, advocating for peace and justice, working on our privilege blinders, and expanding our inclusivity circles. Sometimes we say the same things over and over: God is great, God is good; you are a beloved child of God; good overcomes evil; love overcomes hate; do justice, love kindness, walk humbly. It is not the case that these acts and words are only genuine if you feel them deeply in your heart 100% of the time. In fact, sometimes when we feel them the least is when we need them the most. 

Mark of St. Mark